Have you heard about the person who applied by fax - all 40 pages of it? Educational consultant Philip Schofield chronicles the worst howlers
One of the rewards of interviewing for jobs is the crop of hilarious stories that arise. I suppose that the tensions cause otherwise well-organised and professional individuals to become gibbering wrecks - but there are cautionary tales here for anyone applying for a new job. Read on... and learn from others' mistakes.
Letters of application
A newly qualified teacher once sent a letter of application stating his name and address only, saying that his college tutor would be happy to provide a CV for him. A headteacher applicant sent a CV that comprised a list of eight teaching appointments and no more. Needless to say, neither was taken up.
Applying via fax
I once received an application by fax that took nearly 30 minutes to come through: there were more than 40 pages. When will people realise that more than two pages is normally a real turn-off for recruiters? Mind you, some people's resumes are so helpful. One man's employment record showed that he had been an instructor in a military prison, the perfect recommendation for our Year 9 pupils. Another NQT wrote half a page of explanation about the way in which her two weeks of employment at McDonald's had prepared her for a post in an inner-city school. Do you want your maths lesson with ketchup or without?
Applying via email
Applications by email can be hilarious. I really can't see myself appointing someone whose address is like this: sexyladyfrombognor@hotmail.com. Neither can I get my mind round a filename such as Dave's shot in the dark... There is of course a real disadvantage to the instant nature of internet communications. Many a button has been pressed in error causing the wrong application to be sent to the wrong school. I did get one once that was addressed to the human resources manager of a famous lingerie company!
The email attachment
Another bugbear of internet applications is the dreaded attachment. I always shudder when the file size reads 1MB or the file name ends with .jpg. One such contained half a dozen photos of the candidate and his family on holiday in Spain. I still haven't worked out the relevance. There are compensations such as the applicant who a selection of photos from her modelling portfolio!
Interviews
And interviews can also go terribly wrong. When Andy, a new head, interviewed for the first time I was immediately impressed with his organisation. Every last detail had been attended to. It was only as the first candidate came into his office and sat down that I noticed his only mistake: the candidate's chair was on castors! She sat down and catapulted out through the door, the contents of her handbag scattering to the four corners of the office and her best interview frock riding up in disarray around her neck!
Interview questions
Interview questions can bring moments of hilarity. I remember going for a head's post in an international school many years ago. The interviewer leaned forward and said: "You have applied for one of the most highly paid jobs in the world. What attracted you to the position?"
