Mike Kent was a ‘reluctant’ columnist for the TES, wrote Jill Craven, former deputy editor of TES Friday magazine.

"Late in 2000, Friday magazine, once a weekly publication within the TES, was on the lookout for a new contributor. Mike was our first choice. All those tales of school life. But no, he wasn’t interested."

"Then three weeks later came a call that lifted my spirits. 'I think I can do it.' And he’s been doing it for the past six years."

We are grateful to Mike Kent and Trentham Books for the opportunity to publish this extract from his new book The Rabbit’s Laid an Egg, Miss!, which is a collection of the author’s most popular columns, first published in the TES. In this extract, Mike Kent discusses his experience of teacher recruitment over the past 40 years.

The Rabbit's Laid an Egg, Miss! Life as a London Headteacher
Author: Mike Kent
Trentham Books
Published November 2006


Chapter 44 - I arrive at school to be told there isn't a job after all

It's September and I've got three new teachers, all newly qualified. Their enthusiasm is infectious, and as I chat with them my mind leaps back 40 years to my very first week in the classroom. How things have changed since then…

If you wanted to work in London in those days, you picked an area you fancied and applied to its education office, which simply allocated you to a school with a vacancy. I chose Islington, a pretty grim place at that time.

Monday
I arrive at my school to be told there isn't a job after all. The local authority has made a mistake, but if I wait in the staffroom the head will sort things out. By 11.30, I'm still there. The secretary says sorry, it's the first day of term and things are busy, but if I go back to the staffroom the head will phone the office right now.

By lunchtime, the LEA lines are still busy. He'll try this afternoon. I remain in the staffroom, looking keen and reading a book on educational philosophy. People passing through the room smile cautiously, wondering who I am. By home time, I've finished the book and think it might be worthwhile starting War and Peace.

Tuesday
The head hasn't talked with the education office, but that's not surprising, he says, because it's often three days into the new term before telephone contact can be made. However, Class 4 is going to the Tower of London this morning, and help would be appreciated, so would I like to go?

When we arrive, I'm allocated six children, none of whom behaves particularly well, and when we return to school I feel like an exhausted tourist. The head approaches as I devour a hasty sandwich. Would I mind going back to the Tower this afternoon? It's just that Class 3 is going and Mrs Smith likes help with the difficult ones on outings. I have the feeling it's not an offer I'm allowed to refuse.

My group includes Andrew, who darts off every few minutes, desperate to spend the small amount of money his auntie has given him. When we return, Andrew's satchel bulges suspiciously with the vast number of artefacts he says he "bought". I sleep restlessly that night.

Wednesday
The head has spoken to the LEA, but there are no vacancies at other local schools yet. I'm to wait in the staffroom while he finds me something to do. I've forgotten my book, so I complete the crossword in a tatty Woman's Own.

An elderly teacher nips in for a quick smoke. Her Year 6 class is across the corridor, she tells me, and they won't miss her for 10 minutes. She asks why I chose this career, and says she can't wait to finish hers. She doesn't like the head; far too young, and he favours all this fashionable topic-based nonsense.

Indignantly, she sniffs and tells me how he threw away all her history books. "Had 'em 30 years and I bloody well wasn't having that, so my children climbed in the bins and fetched 'em out again."

I make a discreet exit, and meet the head in the corridor. He sends me to the dinner hall to help out. I stand about like a wet lettuce, not understanding the rites and rituals of dinner duty. A child drips semolina onto my suedes.

Thursday
The head has been sent some more visitor vouchers for the Tower of London. Class 2 is going this morning, so it would be very useful if I went along. And Class 7 will be going this afternoon. Could I help with them too? I look on the bright side. After all, I'm learning a hell of a lot about ravens.

Friday
The head talks to the education office, and they still don't know what to do with me. Could the school keep me, and they'll foot the bill for the extra teacher? The deputy head feels sorry for me and suggests I have her class, while she becomes non-teaching. I'm very excited as I hurry to meet the children and explain all the interesting things I'm going to do with them.

Which won't include visiting the Tower of London.

Read another extract from Mike Kent's new book next week.

Buy The Rabbit's Laid an Egg, Miss! for the discount price of £12 plus £1.50 p&p (usual price £13.99 plus p&p). Download Trentham Books' flyer by clicking on the PDF link below and print out the form to order.